The faithless freak and i have quite a few things in common. one of them, which is becoming increasingly apparent, is that we're both losing our minds. him faster than me, it seems. this city has gotten to us, and there's no wasy we can deny it. we continue of course to fight against the tide, the rage, the insults, the stabs. we refuse to give in, and in each others company, and i'm certain privately as well, we frequently renew our pledges to effectively shape our destinies, conquer the ocassional nudges of hopelessness. for we both know that to turn back now, to leave these heathen shores, and return to the land of the familiar, the lazy and the comfortable, would be defeat. And defeat we cannot face. We cannot stand the idea.
What's interesting is that others find themselves confused about us. in their estimation, we are 2 of the brightest stars in their horizon. they have led us to believe, and we led oursleves to believe so as well, that we are superior, elite and esoteric. yet we must of course maintain a grounded humility, it doesn't look good to have our noses in the sky. yet of course, those who have hailed us as the next conquerors have done so within their limited horizon. and we have been naive enough to believe that the journey will be smooth. it turned out to be a cattle track which we have to navigate during a perpetual earthquake. peace of mind is a distant dream, or is it an illusion? pieces of mind, body and soul seem the more likely outcome every now and then. and so we meet, and promise yet again that we will be strong.
But our despair finds other outlets. the faithless freak has chosen to document the chaos in his mind for the world to see. and he further chooses to advertise it by notifying all others of his rantings. i can't say i blame him, for we could certainly use a sympathetic ear, or a sufficiently alarmed response as our minds metamorphose into putty. and then the freak and i meet up again and laugh as we fight off the darkness.
the horizon won't come to us. we'll either learn how to swim, or drown trying. and we promise to be strong.
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- Da
- i've noticed that we tend to spill our guts out to complete strangers, knowing their relevance extends only to the moment. this is my vent, and you are my stranger. people i know may read this, some may find themselves being written about. your relevance extends to the time you read this blog, as again, you are my stranger. try not to be judgemental, if you can...
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4 comments:
this city has me sapped.
like you, i too carry on but with lesser enthusiasm by the passing day.
that city with its slow and soothing charm lies somewhere in the distant past and the distant future. for now, i am in a rat race that i must win cause there is no other way out.
i wish to go back but well... not yet, not yet!
What will the faithless do now that you are gone.Clutching on to the last laugh that we shared together by the arabian sea..i wait...staring at it again hoping against all hopes... that perhaps one day you will return..perhaps!!
doesnt the horizon at times seem to move further away the more we try to grab its rays?? wat if it is jst a mirage that we are running after??
and things start getting progressively darker as i read the thesis backwards.jeez.both of you are bloody sodden shining stars.i believe ze both of u are doin bloody well in yer sectors and as far as redemption for the past errors is concerned,u'll get more than yer fair share of it.give the tide a lil more time.
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